AU: The Warblers take Kurt hostage instead of the Nationals trophy. (Inspired by this image)
Basically all canon besides that.
~2000 words of silliness with a hopeful ending.
A meeting of the Secret Society of Superheroes Club had once again been interrupted when Blaine- er, Nightbird- received a text on the NightPhone and deemed it unworthy.
“Sweet and Spicy, a lack of caviar in the cafeteria is not a matter of emergency. This phone is for crises only, what can’t you guys understand about that?! If you don’t respect the phone, you don’t respect the society. And if you don’t respect the society, where does that leave us? In the lawless chaos of the unpatrolled hallways of McKinley? With no order or justice? Is that what you all want?”
Nightbird’s tirade was cut off by another caw from the NightPhone. He cast a narrow-eyed glance around the room, silently assuring everyone that another unimportant text would warrant more than just a lecture, and then picked up the phone.
Nightbird’s expression shifted entirely, his face flooding with shock.
“What is it?” Asian Persuasion whispered.
Nightbird gulped. “It’s the Warblers.”
Everyone gathered around behind Nightbird, craning to see the screen of the NightPhone. With a slightly shaky finger, Nightbird played the video he’d been sent.
A figure in a high-backed chair appeared. His face was blurred out, but he wore the unmistakable blazer ofDaltonAcademy. He began to speak with an electronically garbled voice.
“Greetings, New Directions. You have been living as national champions on borrowed time. And that ends now.” Through the pixelation, Blaine swore he could see the figure grin. “Now, we have leverage.” The camera zoomed out and panned to the side, where two more blurry-faced Warblers stood, holding someone between them. The face of their captive, however, was crystal clear. Gasps echoed through the room as the superheroes realized who it was. Blaine’s mouth opened in shock and horror. The camera returned to the Warbler sitting confidently in the chair. “We have your dear countertenor alumnus in our clutches, and soon we’ll have your title as well. A great reckoning is ahead. If you ever want to see your precious Kurt Hummel again, you will send a messenger to us, to negotiate. But-“ the mysterious Warbler added sharply, “we will not barter with just anyone. We will deal only with our own: Blaine Warbler.” More gasps were heard, and Blaine once again thought he saw the tyrant onscreen smile. “Your move,” the Warbler said, and before the video ended, he let out a maniacal laugh.
For a moment, there was only silence. Then chaos.
Everyone was yelling, or arguing, or sobbing. Tina cried for justice while Artie shouted “Storm the castle!”
All noise ceased when Blaine gripped his gavel and banged it on the table, attracting everyone’s attention. Once silence fell, he stood. Then, for good measure, he pulled himself onto the table and stood there.
All eyes were on him as he formulated his thoughts. Before he could speak, though, Tina cried out. “You can’t do it, Nightbird!”
There seemed to be general assent. “We don’t negotiate with terrorists,” Sam insisted in an accent Blaine didn’t recognize. Finally, Blaine held up his hand, and everyone was quiet again.
“They asked for Nightbird,” he said, “so Nightbird must go.”
“But what if they kidnap you too?” Sugar asked, frightened.
Nightbird shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. It is my duty to the school, to the Glee club, and to all individuals who have ever called this place home, to ensure justice and peace. The only way I can do that is by complying with the Warblers’ wishes. It’s the only way to save Kurt.”
The room was silent as everyone accepted this difficult truth.
Tina stepped forward, looking up atBlaine. “Are you-“ she stuttered, and then began again. “Are you sure you’re up for doing this?”
Blaine looked away as he answered. “I have to,” he said simply. With that, he leaped off of the table and left the room with a swoop of his cape.
Blaine changed out of his Nightbird outfit before going to Dalton, but kept on an eyemask, as it seemed fitting.
Sebastian was waiting at the bottom of the main staircase, his lips quirked to one side.
“They’re waiting for you in the library,” he said when Blaine reached him.
Blaine glared at him. “I can’t believe you’d do this.”
“Hey, don’t kill the messenger,” Sebastian said, holding up his hands innocently as he fell in step next to Blaine. “I’m not leader of the Warblers anymore, and I had nothing to do with it. I turned over a new leaf, remember? No more blackmail, assault, or other punishable offenses. That includes abduction.”
Blaine didn’t answer him.
“The mask seems a little excessive,” Sebastian commented.
“Kidnapping someone seems a little excessive,”Blaine countered.
They arrived at the library entrance, and Sebastian stepped back, allowing Blaine to enter alone.
Blaine’s eyes were immediately drawn to the chair, facing away from him behind a desk, which he recognized from the video. Then he heard his name, however, and his attention turned to the corner of the room.
He was simply sitting down in a chair, his legs crossed. Two Warblers that Blaine didn’t recognize stood on either side of him, a couple feet away, but he wasn’t tied down or gagged or anything. He looked perfectly healthy, if extremely irritated .Blaine’s relief overrode the discomfort and hurt he felt from being in the same room as his ex.
“Blaine,” Kurt had been saying. “What is going on? They keep threatening to burn my clothes if I try to leave.”
Blaine heard someone clear their throat, and he forced himself to tear his eyes off of Kurt to see who else was in the room.
The chair behind the desk had turned around, and Blaine now saw that it was occupied by a blonde, broad-shouldered boy in a Dalton blazer, stroking a white, fluffy cat that rested in his lap. “So,” the boy said, smiling slightly, and Blaine instinctively knew that it was the very same boy from the video. “Blaine Warbler has returned.”
Blaine scowled. “That’s Nightbird to you. And I’m just here for Kurt,” he said. “I demand that you release him.”
The Warbler in the chair chuckled. “I’m afraid it’s not going to be that simple, Nightbird. We can’t give him up without getting something in return.”
“And what do you want?”Blaine asked, cautiously.
The Warbler grinned. “Why, we want you, of course.” He stood up, lifting the cat and leaving it on the chair, where it licked its paw and stared at Blaine disdainfully. The Warbler walked around the desk and headed for Blaine. “I’m Hunter Clarrington,” he introduced himself. “I am the captain of the Warblers. And you are a little bit of a legend around here. And I like that.” Blaine rolled his eyes, then watched warily as Hunter walked away from him and over towards Kurt. “So here’s the offer: you get Kurt here back…” Hunter leaned forward, ignoring Kurt’s glare, and ran his finger along Kurt’s jaw. Kurt slapped his hand away, but Hunter’s smile didn’t falter as he faced Blaine again. “…just as soon as you rejoin the Warblers.”
Blaine felt his eyebrows raise as he stared at Hunter. “That’s not going to happen,” he said. “Why would I ever leave McKinley?”
“Why would you stay?” Hunter asked, walking towards Blaine. “We all know that you only went there to be with Kurt. Kurt’s not there anymore, and for that matter, you and Kurt aren’t even together anymore.”
Blaine swallowed over the lump forming in his throat. Keep it together, he told himself. You are Nightbird. Show no weakness.
“You still came here to rescue him,” Hunter observed conversationally. “So you clearly still have feelings for him. Is that what’s keeping you at McKinley? Sentimentality?” Hunter grinned predatorily. “Cute. Or are you drowning in the memories of him that surround you there?”
Blaine blinked rapidly, trying not to think of how everything in the McKinley choir room reminded him of Kurt.
“Come on, Blaine,” Sebastian’s voice whispered from behind him, and Blaine jumped. He hadn’t even noticed that people were approaching him- what happened to his superhero senses? “Dalton is your home.”
“Present the blazer,” Hunter ordered.
Blaine shook his head, trying to keep his cool. “That’s not going to work on me,” he insisted.
Hunter smirked. “Then why are you afraid to try it on?”
Blaine could hear the sound of unfolding polyester, could almost feel the snug fit of his Dalton uniform- “No,” he insisted, trying to get another look at Kurt but unable to, with Hunter blocking his view. “No-“ he said again, but he could feel Sebastian behind him, beginning to slide the blazer onto him-
A crashing noise caused everyone in the room to turn suddenly. The side entrance to the library had been opened, the door knocking several books off of their shelves in the process.
Standing in the doorway, capes and headdresses blowing in the breeze, was the entirety of the Secret Society of Superheroes Club.
Blaine gasped. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
Tina grinned. “We couldn’t let you do this alone, Nightbird.”
Artie nodded. “We’ve got this under control,” he said.
“Take Kurt and run!” Sugar instructed.
With that, the superheroes attacked.
While Joe tackled Sebastian and Tina herself took on Hunter, Blaine dashed to the corner of the room. Kurt’s guards leaped for him but he pushed them aside, grabbing onto Kurt’s hand and pulling him out of his seat, then running for the exit. Hand-in-hand, they ran through the halls of Dalton, just like they had two years prior.
When they reached the parking lot where Blaine’s station wagon was parked, Kurt wrenched his hand away and bent over, breathing heavily. “What the hell is going on?” he asked.
“It’s a long story,” Blaine replied, looking anxiously behind them to make sure they weren’t being followed.
Kurt’s head snapped up to glare at Blaine“I was literally just kidnapped, I think I deserve to hear it.”
Blaine wanted to scream. “Oh, so now you want to listen to me? When we’re in mortal danger? But after Grease you just didn’t have the time?”
“That’s not what this is about!” Kurt replied angrily. “And why are you wearing a mask?”
“Let’s just get in the car, Kurt,” Blaine insisted. “We need to get out of here.”
“No, you need to tell me what’s going on,” Kurt said, stepping forward so his face was mere inches from Blaine’s. “I was just getting off a train, ready to go visit my family when I got pulled off the sidewalk and forced into a limo. And then I find out it’s all some petty glee club rivalry?”
“Look,” Blaine said. “Blame the Warblers, not me, okay? I just came to save you.”
Kurt blinked at him then, as though he was realizing something. “Did you come by yourself?”
“Um, yes,” Blaine answered, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.
“You didn’t know your friends were going to show up?”
“No. Hunter told me to come by myself.”
Kurt’s expression softened, no longer angry. “You came to save me,” he said.
Blaine nodded, and was then startled when Kurt leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
“You could have called the police, you know,” Kurt pointed out in a whisper.
Blaine was still in disbelief- Kurt had just kissed his cheek!- but he managed to say, “It didn’t occur to me.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “You have such a knight-in-shining-armor complex.”
“More like a superhero complex,” Blaine corrected.
Kurt laughed, and then stopped. “I’m still mad at you,” he said.
Blaine nodded, feeling his heart sink. “I don’t blame you.”
Kurt reached out then and took Blaine’s hand, squeezing it softly. “But, um…I’m in Ohio for the next four days, and I’d love it if we could talk, some.”
Blaine thought his heart might have stopped. “I’d like that,” he whispered.
After a second Kurt pulled back his hand gently and stepped away. “Well, we should get out of here,” he said. “Before some other psychotic show choir comes and abducts us.”
“Okay,” Blaine answered slowly. “Okay, let’s go.”
So they got into the car and drove away.
The next day, Nightbird awarded medals of honor and bravery to everyone in the Society.